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And thus the Lord sayeth....

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Ceesman762 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 20 November 2013 at 11:20am
Originally posted by Rofl_Mao Rofl_Mao wrote:

Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Young and single has its advantages, but honestly, after a while it gets boring. Looking forward to teaching my son how to do everything from build a tree fort to how to recognize a pinko commie and where and when it is appropriate to shoot said commies. ;)

Is that all?  My Dad taught me how to do ambushes, make "home made fire works" (In case the Commies did invade, remember, I am a bit older than some of you), fish and hunt, spot drug dealers, skels, mobsters and assorted scum and low lifes, just to name a few things. The perks of being a South Bronx Cop's son growing up in the 70's and 80's!


That actually sounds pretty awesome.

My Dad was Awesome! I hope I can leave the same impression about me to my sons.
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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SSOK View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2013 at 8:43am
Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

skels

Had to look it up on Urban Dictionary. 

1. Skel
Slang word for "criminal" used back in the 1940s-1950s
Johnny is such a skel.
by Skel1 July 31, 2003 add a video
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote StormyKnight Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2013 at 8:36am
Also, let wifey handle the first few diaper changes until the tarry stool has passed. Never thought asphalt-like goop could come out of a baby...

Oh, and congrats putting the stem on the apple!



Edited by StormyKnight - 20 November 2013 at 8:37am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rofl_Mao Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 November 2013 at 8:48pm
Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Young and single has its advantages, but honestly, after a while it gets boring. Looking forward to teaching my son how to do everything from build a tree fort to how to recognize a pinko commie and where and when it is appropriate to shoot said commies. ;)

Is that all?  My Dad taught me how to do ambushes, make "home made fire works" (In case the Commies did invade, remember, I am a bit older than some of you), fish and hunt, spot drug dealers, skels, mobsters and assorted scum and low lifes, just to name a few things. The perks of being a South Bronx Cop's son growing up in the 70's and 80's!


That actually sounds pretty awesome.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 November 2013 at 11:38am
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Young and single has its advantages, but honestly, after a while it gets boring. Looking forward to teaching my son how to do everything from build a tree fort to how to recognize a pinko commie and where and when it is appropriate to shoot said commies. ;)

Is that all?  My Dad taught me how to do ambushes, make "home made fire works" (In case the Commies did invade, remember, I am a bit older than some of you), fish and hunt, spot drug dealers, skels, mobsters and assorted scum and low lifes, just to name a few things. The perks of being a South Bronx Cop's son growing up in the 70's and 80's!
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote impulse418 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 November 2013 at 7:23am
'Murica!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 November 2013 at 7:21am
Young and single has its advantages, but honestly, after a while it gets boring. Looking forward to teaching my son how to do everything from build a tree fort to how to recognize a pinko commie and where and when it is appropriate to shoot said commies. ;)
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rofl_Mao Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 November 2013 at 7:00pm
Originally posted by SSOK SSOK wrote:

You all make me enjoy being young and single btw.


This.

Also congrats, Tallen!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 November 2013 at 10:15pm
As someone here (whom I don't remember) once said..

May your sons be strong, and your daughters ugly.

But in all seriousness, congrats. When are you guys due?

You all make me enjoy being young and single btw.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 November 2013 at 7:24am
Originally posted by JohnnyCanuck JohnnyCanuck wrote:

pretty cool, here's to their continued health - cheers.


All jokes and half-assed advice aside....this. Mostly this.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JohnnyCanuck Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 November 2013 at 6:27am
pretty cool, here's to their continued health - cheers.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 7:11pm
Having witnessed (and even assisted with one) the births of both of my boys, a snipping is advisable if your constitutions aren't nearly ironclad.

I don't want to ruin anything, but you'll see things that will make the 'fainting' jokes completely understandable.

......

but all of that being said, the worst part are the diapers. watching your wife get practically gutted in front of you and having her spill out not only another person, but what seems to be a shockingly significant portion of her own anatomy will pale in comparison to your first 'blow out.'
I honestly hope urine, feces, breast-milk smelling barf, and constant noise don't bother you.

But its worth it. Totally, totally worth it.
So much we did it voluntarily the second time.




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote impulse418 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 6:43pm
I really need to get snipped.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 6:15pm
Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Originally posted by Reb Cpl Reb Cpl wrote:

Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Congratulations! Enjoy your sleep now because you are not going to get a lot when he makes his debut. And remember to use the old diaper as a shield so you don't get sprayed with pee.


Having an infant pee in his own hair because you didn't shield him....is sort of hilarious.

.....having him pee in YOUR hair...is not as funny.

The bad news is that they don't come with an instruction manual.
And during the birthing, I highly recommend for you, a position up around her shoulders somewhere.

THIS! That way she can't reach you and claw your eyes out.

....among other reasons. Dead

I also want to go on record and say that putting a futon in the latest baby's room was the best idea we ever had. This way, whomever gets up with the gremlin can still get some rest, because much of the time, they'll sleep, you just can't put them down on their own, and let me tell you, a glider seems okay, until after about the 2nd or 3rd hour.

Side note- my wife just decided that she was too short to comfortably put the baby back into his crib when he's asleep, so she had me take the thing apart, and SAW 4" off each leg so she wouldn't feel so stubby.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 1:03pm
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Hah! As if! I'm not getting ANY sleep now either! When the wifey was non-preggers, her little bit of snoring was quiet and kind of cute. Now that the wifey is full-on belly-bigger-than-mine preggers, it's really loud, and annoying.

That and she rolls around a whole lot more in her sleep and kicks a lot when she's dreaming.....

It will get worse if she and the baby are gassy...LOL
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 1:02pm
Originally posted by Reb Cpl Reb Cpl wrote:

Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Congratulations! Enjoy your sleep now because you are not going to get a lot when he makes his debut. And remember to use the old diaper as a shield so you don't get sprayed with pee.


Having an infant pee in his own hair because you didn't shield him....is sort of hilarious.

.....having him pee in YOUR hair...is not as funny.

The bad news is that they don't come with an instruction manual.
And during the birthing, I highly recommend for you, a position up around her shoulders somewhere.

THIS! That way she can't reach you and claw your eyes out.
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 11:49am
Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Enjoy your sleep now because you are not going to get a lot when he makes his debut.


Hah! As if! I'm not getting ANY sleep now either! When the wifey was non-preggers, her little bit of snoring was quiet and kind of cute. Now that the wifey is full-on belly-bigger-than-mine preggers, it's really loud, and annoying.

That and she rolls around a whole lot more in her sleep and kicks a lot when she's dreaming.....
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 11:43am
Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Congratulations! Enjoy your sleep now because you are not going to get a lot when he makes his debut. And remember to use the old diaper as a shield so you don't get sprayed with pee.


Having an infant pee in his own hair because you didn't shield him....is sort of hilarious.

.....having him pee in YOUR hair...is not as funny.

The bad news is that they don't come with an instruction manual.
And during the birthing, I highly recommend for you, a position up around her shoulders somewhere.


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Time for a C-Section!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 11:19am
Congratulations! Enjoy your sleep now because you are not going to get a lot when he makes his debut. And remember to use the old diaper as a shield so you don't get sprayed with pee.
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Eville Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2013 at 10:51am
Originally posted by evillepaintball evillepaintball wrote:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdokkfhMXVQ
 
You're welcome.
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