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Dilemma

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oldsoldier View Drop Down
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    Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:17am
Along with Momma's guinea hens we have 4 wild turkey's pretty domesticated. The live in the coop with the guinea hens at night, and actually will feed from Momma's hand. One adult hen, 3 large youngin's one maybe a tom as it will display now and then.

Now do we get a store turkey, for Thanksgiving, or.............
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:21am
Fresh Turkey is just a .22 caliber bullet to the head away....
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:38am
I don't see your dilemma at all.

Whack and rack 'em.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 10:45am
She is going to be pretty pissed if you kill one of her turkeys, possibly "pets".

Have some fun and go find another wild turkey.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RoboCop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:02am
One is cheaper than the other...

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldpbnoob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:14am
This is why grocery stores will never go out of business. If I had to kill, clean and buther my own meat, I would surely be a vegetarian.
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RoboCop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:23am
My mom will gut and prepare fish anyday. We used to have a rooster that got out of hand and she killed it and cooked it up for us. Used a knife to cut the neck. I want to go hunting, but the whole field preparation would get to me at first but I'm sure I would get over it.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldpbnoob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:35am
Fish don't bother me, and I could probably do a bird, but anything like a pig, cow etc would be beyond me. My main issue with the bird would be the feathers. Having to pluck feathers just seems like it would be a ripping PITA. 
 
*Exception would be peacocks. I would pay to be able to cap one of them or even better beat it lifeless with a baseball bat. I f'ing hate peacocks.
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:35am
Reminds me of a distant cousin's three legged pig when I was a kid.


Years ago I went to visit some relatives that lived in the backwoods of the southern part of my home state.  To give you an idea of how rural this was, they had no electricity, using the bathroom involved a trip outside and the only reason they had running water in the house was because they had set the house so the kitchen was over the well.  (There was an actual pump handle that sat on the counter behind the kitchen sink.)  Before any age-related jokes get tossed out I will note that this was the late '70s.  (1970s that is; I'm not leaving that open for you comedians.)



Anyway, they had this full-grown pig that had the run of the house.  It slept in the house at night and was even litterbox trained.  The box was on the enclosed front porch.  (Yes, it was a big box.)  The pig was missing one of it's rear legs; I don't remember which one -- this was over 40 years ago.  I don't know if any of you have ever talked to anyone who has grown up in a really rural area where human contact outside family is limited, but conversations can be interesting.  The family spent so much time together that they could convey volumes of information to each other with just a nod and a grunt but when it came to talking to outsiders they would take forever to get to the point.  I think this was because they didn't get to talk to outsiders much so tried to get all they could from the experience.



Because of this, when I asked why the pig only had three legs what I got instead was the pig's life history.  (Not the abridged version which I will give you all.)  The pig was a runt that was hand-raised by my cousin's mother and wasn't expected to live.  When it did survive, she had spent so much time with it that she kind of bonded with it.  It took my cousin like a half hour just to get through that part of the story and he was much less clear when explaining it.  If I remember correctly the part about bonding came out along the lines of ". . . and after that she was more than just slightly fond of the little critter."



Anyway, after hearing the pig's life history, I still didn't know what happened to the leg that was missing so I asked again.  (Yes, I was starting to get frustrated but I figured I was already this far into the story and the only other option was to watch my cousin catch horseflies and tie strings to them so they flew in circles.)  When I asked again, I got a lengthy explanation about how smart the pig was.  Apparently, besides being litter box trained it could fetch the paper and herd the sheep much like a sheep dog.  I saw the paper thing but never saw the pig work sheep and I doubt the veracity of that part of the story given the pig's disability.  The pig had other skills as well but they are to numerous to mention and minor in comparison to what I did mention.  When my cousin finished, I still didn't know about the leg so I asked again.



This time I heard about how the pig had once chased off a prowler trying to get into the tool shed and had alerted the family in the middle of the night when a spark from the woodstove they used to heat the living room (parlor in the family's terminology) had popped out and started smoldering on the rug.  The pig had probably saved their lives and their house.  Getting impatient I interrupted and told my cousin I didn't care about the pig's history, education, familial linage, love life, hobbies, or likes and dislikes I just wanted to know what happened to the leg.  I probably didn't say this very nicely as my cousin seemed a little taken aback by my attitude.   Actually, I know I was kind of rude;  I specifically remember including "long walk's on the beach" as one of the things I didn't care about whether or not the pig enjoyed.  (Sarcasm was lost on those people.  When I made the beach comment my cousin looked at me and said "We don't have a beach.") 



After this exchange though I had his attention so I asked one final time (thankfully) what happened to the pig's leg and he told me the following:



"This is a special pig . . . a pig like this you don't eat all at once."


Edited by Mack - 15 November 2012 at 12:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote merc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:44am
Smoke one and bake one... Dilemma solved?
saving the world, one warship at a time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 11:52am
Mack.

damn you.




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rednekk98 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 1:17pm
Only if you're going to deep fry it. Get a domestic turkey if you're going to over-bake it. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DeTrevni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 1:44pm
Mack: Not sure if srs or "shaggy dog..."
Evil Elvis: "Detrevni is definally like a hillbilly hippy from hell"

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 2:07pm
Originally posted by DeTrevni DeTrevni wrote:

Mack: Not sure if srs or "shaggy dog..."


Shaggy Dog. In fact, I think that joke is quite possibly older than Mack himself!
<Removed overly wide sig. Tsk, you know better.>
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote impulse418 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 2:48pm
Wheres that tec-9 picture....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 2:59pm
Originally posted by impulse418 impulse418 wrote:

Wheres that tec-9 picture....


Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote usafpilot07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 3:00pm
Originally posted by Mack Mack wrote:



Reminds me of a distant cousin's three legged pig when I was a kid.


Years ago I went to visit some relatives that lived in the backwoods of the southern part of my home state.  To give you an idea of how rural this was, they had no electricity, using the bathroom involved a trip outside and the only reason they had running water in the house was because they had set the house so the kitchen was over the well.  (There was an actual pump handle that sat on the counter behind the kitchen sink.)  Before any age-related jokes get tossed out I will note that this was the late '70s.  (1970s that is; I'm not leaving that open for you comedians.)



Anyway, they had this full-grown pig that had the run of the house.  It slept in the house at night and was even litterbox trained.  The box was on the enclosed front porch.  (Yes, it was a big box.)  The pig was missing one of it's rear legs; I don't remember which one -- this was over 40 years ago.  I don't know if any of you have ever talked to anyone who has grown up in a really rural area where human contact outside family is limited, but conversations can be interesting.  The family spent so much time together that they could convey volumes of information to each other with just a nod and a grunt but when it came to talking to outsiders they would take forever to get to the point.  I think this was because they didn't get to talk to outsiders much so tried to get all they could from the experience.





Well, that seals it. Mack finally forgot his numbers.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DeTrevni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 3:25pm
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Originally posted by DeTrevni DeTrevni wrote:

Mack: Not sure if srs or "shaggy dog..."


Shaggy Dog. In fact, I think that joke is quite possibly older than Mack himself!


Haven't heard it. The complete lack of asterisks gave it away, though. :p

Edited by DeTrevni - 15 November 2012 at 3:26pm
Evil Elvis: "Detrevni is definally like a hillbilly hippy from hell"

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 3:35pm
See, I'd heard it before, and even knew it was coming, but there was a part of me that kept saying "No...he wouldn't"

He did.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 November 2012 at 3:54pm
Of course I did.  Big smile

OS did give me the perfect set up for breaking that one out.

The key to a good shaggy dog story is to include elements of truth and an incorrect detail or two (like messed up dates).  Exceptional accuracy and certainty is a definite sign of a lie as is excess exaggeration.

The truth that was involved was the bit about relatives without indoor plumbing (other than the pump in the kitchen) and no electricity.  I don't think they got either until sometime in the 90s.  (And there was at least one branch of the family that kept a still and a watchful eye out for "durn revenuers."

Edit:  The bit about the horsefly was true as well.  Horsefly on a string was a favorite summer toy in that neck of the woods.

Edit #2:
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

. . . I think that joke is quite possibly older than Mack himself!


It is;  the first time I heard it the animal in the joke was a stegosaurus instead of a pig.


Edited by Mack - 15 November 2012 at 4:02pm
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