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My grandpa passed away...

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procarbinefreak View Drop Down
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    Posted: 09 November 2012 at 10:23am
and I'm strangely unemotional about it.  I just got the call 15 minutes ago that he passed away last night in his sleep.  He had been put in long term care a week and a half ago because his lungs were giving up.  So in that sense, it wasn't completely unexpected, but it's still a bit of a shock.  This is my first gandparent to pass, and I always thought it would come a bit harder.  

The worst part is that he couldn't make it to the wedding because of his health, and my wife and I never got a chance to go see him after the wedding to show him pictures.  

This turned out to be more of a livejournal entry than a forum thread... my bad.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 11:37am
When it's an expected passing, it tends to be less emotional. That's the way it was when my mom's mother passed away while I was in high school. She'd had cancer, went into remission for about 3 or 4 more years and then it came back with a vengeance, so it was as if the shock had happened long before the actual event. I got pretty emotional about my dad's father passing though, and that was when I was well out of college. He was only in the hospital about 4 days for routine surgery, but contracted pneumonia while he was there and wound up twisting his bowel during a coughing fit. That was the end. He lasted another 2 or 3 days, but went downhill so fast, it was surprising. So, it's not altogether strange that you'd be fairly unemotional about his passing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RoboCop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 11:38am
When my grandfather was in the hospital, my mom and I decided to spend the night with him. My grandmother came and my mom and I went to get some food. Came back about 30 minutes later. During that time, my grandfather passed away with his wife at his side and no one else. I didn't cry, and I've cried for pets that I have had to put down. I thought it was weird I didn't have a stronger emotion.

Oh and sorry for your loss.

RIP grandpa PCF

Edited by RoboCop - 09 November 2012 at 12:30pm

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote procarbinefreak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:02pm
It was strange.  I was fine when my dad called me with the news.  My wife (still weird to say that) called on her break at work because I texted her to.  When I told her it hit me a bit harder.  I'll probably hold it together until the very end of the funeral.  Being a pallbearer sucks I'm really not looking forward to it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 12:21pm
I had no emotional response when my grandmother died. She had already lost a leg to diabetes and was medicated 24/7.
 
I think that, at some point, we deal with a person's passing when they are no longer themselves. It's not the physical embodiment of the person we value, it's their emotional contribution to our lives. It's like my dad-my worst fear is losing the ability to call and talk to him at the end of every day. If he ended up medicated and dementia laden like both of my grandmothers I'd have to deal with that loss long before his actual death. Once you've dealt with that, you're over the hardest part.
 
Thoughts and prayers nonetheless, losing someone is never easy regardless.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 2:00pm
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

When it's an expected passing, it tends to be less emotional.


I absolutely agree. My grandmother passed last year, but it was her time and you could see it coming. At first I wondered about being unemotional about it, but it's because I knew she had a great life, and got to spend lots of time with my mom in her final years. It was her time, and that's okay sometimes.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mbro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 3:08pm
My grandpa was the best man I have ever known and I took his death the same way as you. The hardest part of it was seeing my grandma alone and crying. It came as some relief though because he was suffering from Alzheimers and towards the end didn't even know who I was. The only people he remembered was my dad, Brett Farve who he loved, and George W. Bush, who he hated.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 3:19pm
Originally posted by mbro mbro wrote:

The only people he remembered was my dad, Brett Farve who he loved, and George W. Bush, who he hated.
 
My grandmother both sees and talks to Willie Nelson quite frequently. She spends alot of time with my deceased grandfather and great grandmother .
 
I've learned to find at least some humor in it, otherwise it would drive us all crazy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scotchyscotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 November 2012 at 4:13pm
I had the same reaction when my granny passed. She had been in a very bad way for about a month after she was finally diagnosed with liver cancer. When I got the call I was more speechless than emotional about it. Having the mother on the the phone crying was what got to me at that point. At the funeral I was a pall bearer and once she was in the hearse following the service I had a wee cry. Don't know why only then and so suddenly but there you go.

That night me and my uncle stayed up all night drinking whisky and he was telling me his stories. But I was almost happy at that point. I guess I figured she'd had a good run and the character she'd shown all the way to the end had us both in stitches when we looked back at it. I've always found the way that a close death can bring out such humour in people quite comforting.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snipa69 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 November 2012 at 10:09pm
My grandpa passed away last week. I too was confused as to my emotions. A good man, WWII Navy Officer, and a very intelligent man right up until the day he passed. But for me, dealing with death is different. It was his time, and he is in a better place. 
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