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Growing up is awkward.

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SSOK View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 5:30pm
This thread got weird.


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DeTrevni View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DeTrevni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 6:04pm
Hooo, man. Firstly, I'd like to apologize. I had slipped into a wave of depression (it comes and goes these days), and I got to typing faster than I could think. I've vented, and I feel better now. However, what's been said has been said, so I'd like to clarify a few things, objectively.

Firstly, when I mentioned masculinity, I was referencing confidence. You can be Burt Reynolds, you could be Johnny Depp, but the root of it all is confidence in one's self. I've always found that confidence to BE George Clooney or Orlando Bloom (figuratively) as opposed to TRYING to be them is an indicator of one's masculinity, or confidence in themselves as men. Or in reference to women, femininity. Whatever. It's all personal identity. You may ask "Golly DeTrevni, why not just call it 'self-confidence?'" Well, you'd be right, but there are underlying characteristics as well, associated with one's gender. Old ideals such as Chivalry, or even English (or Southern) gentry (of the more contemporary definition) inspire me. A social etiquette that I think has kinda fizzled out over the years. Really though, all that is non sequitur. I should have just referenced it as "confidence" and left the masculinity out of it, but I wasn't thinking straight.

That said, the subject of sexuality is the root to many of my problems today, and I guess this is where I got the "masculinity" bit from. Because of my overall lack of self-confidence, I occasionally question my standing as a "man." Yes, it's shallow, I know, but it's a legitimate worry for me. I appreciate the words and tough love, but it has been so ingrained into my psyche that "just get over it" won't cut it, unfortunately. Of course, I work in a machine shop surrounded by the typical blue-collar types who weigh masculinity on a scale of how many girls they can bang, and how often. Naturally, that can whittle away at my ego over time, shallow though it may be. It's tough to stay strong. It really is.

So essentially, I wasn't referencing Burt Reynolds as much as I was referencing confidence. I wish I had more, sure, but I'm doing hella better than I was. No doubt. I still get waves of "identity crisis" now and again, as can be seen, but I'm really doing better.

Sorry to be the Debbie Downer here.


Edited by DeTrevni - 09 October 2012 at 6:08pm
Evil Elvis: "Detrevni is definally like a hillbilly hippy from hell"

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stratoaxe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 6:20pm
Haha I gotcha man.

Sexuality is becoming ambiguous because, as I said earlier, post civil rights woman have forcibly moved their social status in a very rapid way. So while we made kitchen jokes at them they replace us in high level positions on a daily basis. Something like 60% of law graduates this year will be female. Lawyers become politicians and politicians make policy.

So our roles as men are shifting because women don't need big hairy men to protect them. They need Sneaky to cook for them and organize their toiletries.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote __sneaky__ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 6:37pm
Which is why I have to nab women fast, before they realize I'm a terrible chef.

*and unorganized.


Edited by __sneaky__ - 09 October 2012 at 6:37pm
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rednekk98 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 7:24pm
If you have women problems you're a homo. 

But seriously though, people, especially women, make no goddamn sense at all. I've notice that as I've grown older it's easier to pull, but you're less motivated to do so. Maybe the slight indifference looks like confidence, it's hard to tell. My life has had way too much uncertainty to make anything long-term, and I have made some unwise short-term decisions that I'm lucky didn't end up with me needing antibiotics or birdshot removed from my backside. My advice, is try someone slightly older. Younger girls like to play mind games, don't know what they want, or have totally delusional expectations about pretty much everything. Older ones tend to be more realistic and down to earth, more straightforward, and better at what they do. I'm not saying you should go cougar hunting, but if you aren't feeling as full of youthful foolishness, don't seek the company of youthful fools. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 7:30pm
Originally posted by rednekk rednekk wrote:

But seriously though, people, especially women, make no goddamn sense at all. I've notice that as I've grown older it's easier to pull, but you're less motivated to do so. Maybe the slight indifference looks like confidence, it's hard to tell. My life has had way too much uncertainty to make anything long-term


Pretty much hit the nail on the head there.

6 or 7 years ago I'd have paid money to have the easy access to one night stand I have now. Oh, and I'd have never taken the managers position at my job. Major chicken block there.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 9:15pm
Originally posted by tallen702 tallen702 wrote:

Okay Strato and DeTrevni,

Every morning, I want you to wake up, take a shower, brush your teeth, look in the mirror and tell yourselves "Damn I'm Good!"

Okay, so maybe not like that, but in the other things you do. I was a high school outcast with no friends who only had a few friends in College and have probably about the same now that I'm out of school. I'm not a popular guy and women don't get a damp in the panties when I walk by. But when I do something, and do it well, I own it. I take a look at what I've made/done/said and tell the world that, "Dammit, I'm THAT frikken good baby!" And when I do that, it gives my confidence a boost and it then carries over into other things I do. You do that enough, and it works its way into your everyday life and people notice it. It's not the false sense of bravado that fratboys and "bros" exude, it's the real deal and worthwhile women (and men) can tell the difference. Does that mean I don't ever go "damn, I wish I had a six-pack and all my hair?" Of course not! But the confidence I carry from the things I CAN control outweighs the negative of the self doubt and it shows. So, next time you do something that you know is the shiznit, pat yourself on the back and hold onto it.


This . . . I live it, it works . . . and the Gosh Dang Dos Equis most interesting man in the world looks up to me.

All my years are the best of my life.

Originally posted by Kayback Kayback wrote:

Originally posted by stratoaxe stratoaxe wrote:

... usurping the male place as the sexually dominant gender. Now us guys are all raging metrosexuals meticulously judging ourselves the way girls used to.

I want the 70s back, where all you needed was a beard, a low cut shirt, and a trans am.


Your Mancard has been officially revoked. Please hand it in for destruction.



Bahaha!

As to what strato said, be the kind of man you're comfortable with and be happy with it.  I have nothing against the guys who want to pretty themselves up like the chicks used to . . . but that's not me.

Originally posted by rednekk98 rednekk98 wrote:

If you have women problems you're a homo. 

But seriously though, people, especially women, make no goddamn sense at all. I've notice that as I've grown older it's easier to pull, but you're less motivated to do so. Maybe the slight indifference looks like confidence, it's hard to tell. My life has had way too much uncertainty to make anything long-term, and I have made some unwise short-term decisions that I'm lucky didn't end up with me needing antibiotics or birdshot removed from my backside. My advice, is try someone slightly older. Younger girls like to play mind games, don't know what they want, or have totally delusional expectations about pretty much everything. Older ones tend to be more realistic and down to earth, more straightforward, and better at what they do. I'm not saying you should go cougar hunting, but if you aren't feeling as full of youthful foolishness, don't seek the company of youthful fools. 


Redneck has wisdom beyond his years.


Edited by Mack - 09 October 2012 at 9:21pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 9:29pm
I take only one issue with any of this-

Originally posted by Tallen Tallen wrote:

I'm not a popular guy and women don't get a damp in the panties when I walk by. 


Lies. I get damp every time you post about food.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Yomillio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 10:30pm
Honestly, the best advice I have is super cliche, but its the truth, especially for guys like ya'll: Be yourself, be confident in who you are, and don't care too much what anyone else in the world thinks.  Don't try to impress anyone, don't try to be something or someone you aren't, just be yourself.  I found for myself that sometimes, its amazing what falls into place when you aren't concerned with anything except the things that you tackle day-to-day and the other things that make you tick.  The best people like you for being you, and you don't need to pander down to other people who aren't that way.  I know you've probably heard it a thousand and one times, but take it seriously.  Take it further than the rest of the nursery-school butterflies-and-flowers sayings.  I've found for myself that I've made my absolute best friends (male and female, non-sexual and otherwise, etc.) and met the best people I know when I've simply been honest with myself, and confident in my honesty. 

Some of the best things come along when you aren't looking for them, and some of the hardest issues get solved when you aren't trying to fix them.

Also, worth noting - I'm not some totem or model of self-confidence or something; quite the contrary.  I struggle with self-esteem quite a bit.  However, just because I'm not always self-confident in my appearance, conversations, etc. doesn't mean that I can't be self-confident in my honest feelings, thoughts, emotions, and actions.  This is probably pretty key - being able to separate these out.  You can't always be confident in your image, appearance, or outward interactions, but you can always be confident in yourself if you always be honest with yourself and put all your effort into what you try to do, and don't give up at the first sight of challenges.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote __sneaky__ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 October 2012 at 11:12pm
...can we all hold hands now?
"I AM a crossdresser." -Reb Cpl


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rofl_Mao Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 12:15am
I'm waiting to get a real career and permanent living before I mess with getting a relationship again.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stratoaxe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 12:47am
Originally posted by __sneaky__ __sneaky__ wrote:

...can we all hold hands now?

You can hold anything you want sneaky <3

Rofl-same here.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RoboCop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 7:13am
You guys are getting it wrong. Need to get a girl that can move around and is already getting/has herself settled into the real world. My girlfriend of 2 years is a nurse and she has a job and I'm in my senior year of college in physics. So luckily for me, our residence can rely on me because she can move around to other hospitals around the nation. That's the nice thing about my relationship. She can always pack her bags up and find a job near me.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldsoldier Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 10:44am
You will survive. This game has been going on since man left the caves, and will continue only the rules change now and then.

The key word is compromise...like I am still in Nebraska not that I really want to be. Lesson 1: If momma is not happy..No one is happy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 11:22am
Originally posted by oldsoldier oldsoldier wrote:

. Lesson 1: If momma is not happy..No one is happy.

Oh so true....learn it now guys.
Innocence proves nothing
FUAC!!!!!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldpbnoob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 1:49pm
Originally posted by Ceesman762 Ceesman762 wrote:

Originally posted by oldsoldier oldsoldier wrote:

. Lesson 1: If momma is not happy..No one is happy.

Oh so true....learn it now guys.
I don't know, I can be a pretty big female dog myself.
 
I tried reading through every post, but honestly found myself skimming and wanting to sit down with a nice bottle of chardonnay and watch "Beaches".
 
Seriously though, wait until you have been with the same woman for nearly 1/2 of your life! The stresses of money, health and kids can and most likely will suck any sexual desires you have completely out of you. I used to laugh at Al Bundy thinking that he was a schmo, but holy crap it's happening to me!
"When I grow up I want to marry a rich man and live in a condor next to the beach" -- My 7yr old daughter.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 2:41pm
Being in a long-term relationship means I've sort of just stopped caring about almost all of this. 
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This Ma**edited**hine Kills **edited**as**edited**ists.




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldsoldier Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 3:20pm
Define 'long term'. Till you are 'married with children' as oldpbnoob mentions you really do not understand the full meaning of 'relationship' and that key word that goes with it 'committment'.

Looking back at the 'relationship' fiascos of my past, I still sit and laugh at all these BTDT scenarios, and I am still here, remarried, and doing fine. (hint marry a farm girl, city women are a royal pain as I found out 3 times)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 3:29pm
Originally posted by agentwhale007 agentwhale007 wrote:

Being in a long-term relationship means I've sort of just stopped caring about almost all of this. 


It's nice when you're not dealing with crazy, and can actually have something healthy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lightningbolt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 October 2012 at 3:30pm
Southern girls are the best. I feel very blessed.
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