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Okay my think-tank. Need ideas.

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    Posted: 04 September 2012 at 7:41am
Brother's getting married and I have to write the 'best man speech'
Never done it before, and I don't remember either the one given at my wedding or any of the other three or four that I heard at weddings I attended- so I take solace in the face that in the end, no matter WHAT I say, nobody's gonna remember it.

Still.

Is anyone any good at this stuff? What sort of things should I avoid, and what kinds of things actually DO get mentioned in these things? I already know to keep it damn short- but other than that.....clueless.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lightningbolt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 8:32am
Keep it short and simple.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 8:33am
Step one, don't mention the bride's breasts. 

This is a crucial step. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 9:26am
Originally posted by agentwhale007 agentwhale007 wrote:

Step one, don't mention the bride's breasts. 

This is a crucial step. 


Noted.

Won't be easy....but noted just the same.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 9:27am
Originally posted by Lightningbolt Lightningbolt wrote:

Keep it short and simple.


The draft of what I wrote already before I decided I needed input is less than a page typed out single spaced.


Edited by Reb Cpl - 04 September 2012 at 9:27am


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lightningbolt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 9:36am
The pressure is on the bride and groom. I was thinking thanks for coming and enjoy yourselves basically.

oh one last thing don't misplace the ring like I did.

Edited by Lightningbolt - 04 September 2012 at 9:41am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 9:53am
Originally posted by Lightningbolt Lightningbolt wrote:

The pressure is on the bride and groom. I was thinking thanks for coming and enjoy yourselves basically.

oh one last thing don't misplace the ring like I did.


Eh- I know all of the other ones that I've heard were a bit more than that- not to the extent of the bore-fest that the maid of honor speeches are- which are all the same, usually highlighting how THEY had a huge part in getting the bride and groom together. It wouldn't be a maid of honor speech without some kind of self-congratulatory tone.

The BM ones though- they've all been a bit longer than a speech that the MC could make. I just don't remember content for the life of me.

Someone told me to do this:

"They say a best man speech should last as long as the groom can last in bed." ....then just sit down.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote procarbinefreak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 10:08am
I really want my brother's to start with, "since the day I met Erik, he's been like a brother to me."

It's cheesy and corny, but it will break the ice and make people laugh.  


Edited by procarbinefreak - 04 September 2012 at 10:08am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 10:16am
Originally posted by Lightningbolt Lightningbolt wrote:

Keep it short and simple.


Get a box . . .


Cut hole in box . . .
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 10:17am
Originally posted by procarbinefreak procarbinefreak wrote:

I really want my brother's to start with, "since the day I met Erik, he's been like a brother to me."

It's cheesy and corny, but it will break the ice and make people laugh.  


I may just borrow that. If you can get a chuckle out of people to start, then the rest of it doesn't really matter I think.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SSOK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 10:20am
I would open with whatever cheezy line, then proceed to bring up embarassing/stupid stories from growing up. That juvenile crap from back in the day. Then BS about how you can see how happy he is, then BS some more about how great they are and thats it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote procarbinefreak Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 10:21am
Exactly.  My brother's best man started with, 'When I met Don, I knew we'd be friends... and when I met Don's mom, I knew we'd be best friends.'

That's all anyone remembers from the speech, and that's fine.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:31am


That one has been remembered quite well for some time. Needs to be funny, poke a little light fun, and end on a sappy note.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote usafpilot07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:46am
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/fashion/the-art-of-the-wedding-toast.html?_r=2&ref=weddingsandengagements&pagewanted=all

Whoops, meant to isolate this part.

Originally posted by 3-1-2 Rule 3-1-2 Rule wrote:

So what should you say? I advised my friend to use a simple formula: 3-1-2. First, he should speak for a few minutes in third person, sharing a funny story or a warm memory about the bridegroom. “Let me tell you something about Harry you may not know ...” or “I knew he had found true love that time he called me and said. ...” Next, he should say a few genuine words in first person, explaining his own feelings about his brother. “One thing I could always count on my brother for was” or “I have always admired my brother for.” Finally, he should speak directly to the couple, using second person. “May you have a life filled with” or “May you always find joy in.”


Edited by usafpilot07 - 04 September 2012 at 12:02pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mbro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 11:56am
When I had to do it I avoided making fun of the bride and groom (the bride is nuts) and used it as an opportunity to show why they are perfect together and contrasted with why I suck. I just kept me as the punchline to keep the bride happy. It went very well and the speech still gets brought up at family gatherings.

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scotchyscotch Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:13pm
Yeah it needs t be funny IMO, that's what the best man's speech is all about. A bit of comic relief from all the greetin' faced women.

"You know when I was writing this speech I tried to do a bit of research, I asked (bride) some of the things she really loved about (groom), And she really did surprise me. She got all embarrassed and said she couldn't tell me but she finally agreed to give me some clues. 
    
She said it's quite wee... kinda pink, and a bit wrinkly in places."

Knowing (bride) like I do I instantly knew what she meant (cheeky look to bride) And really I need to agree...

"I love his granny too!"
*********
Just on the right side of dirty and cheese like that appeals to the Aunties and the like.
I liked it when my uncle done it at my cousins wedding but I was about 10 so it was the funniest thing I had ever heard but IIRC it got a good reaction.

Another one that I saw more recently was The best man/ushers sticking a4 cards on the tables, one green with "Aye he did!" and another red "Naw he never!" written across them. The best man then told embarrassing stories about the groom and the party had to decide if he had actually done the things in the stories. If they reckoned he'd done it they held up the ahh you get the idea.

Naturally it finished with the groom red faced and all stories being true. That was good it loosened everyone up a bit.

And finish with a sappy note like "If you weren't marrying my brother I'd totally smash your back doors in"


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 2:20pm
Scotchy- I don't know this forum would be without you sometimes. 


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tallen702 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 4:52pm
Scotchy, I hope you don't mind. But you speak with the voice of David Tenant in my head whenever I read your posts...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sinisterNorth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 September 2012 at 6:01pm
I just gave one last month. I basically used the couple as the center of attention, an example that everyone could take something from. The single crowd could see what true love looked like, mushy mushy, blah blah. And those who were already married could rekindle/relive their own special days, mushy mushy, blah blah. Thanked everyone for coming and for being able to be a part of the day and that was it. Got some tears out of the attendees and a lot of compliments afterwards.
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