Okay my think-tank. Need ideas.

Brother's getting married and I have to write the 'best man speech'
Never done it before, and I don't remember either the one given at my wedding or any of the other three or four that I heard at weddings I attended- so I take solace in the face that in the end, no matter WHAT I say, nobody's gonna remember it.

Still.

Is anyone any good at this stuff? What sort of things should I avoid, and what kinds of things actually DO get mentioned in these things? I already know to keep it damn short- but other than that.....clueless.

Step one, don't mention the bride's breasts. 

Lightningbolt wrote: Keep it short and simple.

The draft of what I wrote already before I decided I needed input is less than a page typed out single spaced.


Edited by Reb Cpl - 04 September 2012 at 9:27am

Lightningbolt wrote: The pressure is on the bride and groom. I was thinking thanks for coming and enjoy yourselves basically. oh one last thing don't misplace the ring like I did.

Eh- I know all of the other ones that I've heard were a bit more than that- not to the extent of the bore-fest that the maid of honor speeches are- which are all the same, usually highlighting how THEY had a huge part in getting the bride and groom together. It wouldn't be a maid of honor speech without some kind of self-congratulatory tone.

The BM ones though- they've all been a bit longer than a speech that the MC could make. I just don't remember content for the life of me.

Someone told me to do this:

"They say a best man speech should last as long as the groom can last in bed." ....then just sit down.

Lightningbolt wrote: Keep it short and simple.

Get a box . . .


Cut hole in box . . .

I would open with whatever cheezy line, then proceed to bring up embarassing/stupid stories from growing up. That juvenile crap from back in the day. Then BS about how you can see how happy he is, then BS some more about how great they are and thats it.

That one has been remembered quite well for some time. Needs to be funny, poke a little light fun, and end on a sappy note.

When I had to do it I avoided making fun of the bride and groom (the bride is nuts) and used it as an opportunity to show why they are perfect together and contrasted with why I suck. I just kept me as the punchline to keep the bride happy. It went very well and the speech still gets brought up at family gatherings.

Scotchy- I don't know this forum would be without you sometimes. 

I just gave one last month. I basically used the couple as the center of attention, an example that everyone could take something from. The single crowd could see what true love looked like, mushy mushy, blah blah. And those who were already married could rekindle/relive their own special days, mushy mushy, blah blah. Thanked everyone for coming and for being able to be a part of the day and that was it. Got some tears out of the attendees and a lot of compliments afterwards.