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mbro View Drop Down
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    Posted: 20 March 2009 at 11:55pm
I have said in past threads that I have no idea what the point of twitter is. In order to figure out exactly what this thing is I decided a month or so ago to force myself to actually use the site to see what it was all about. I planned to use it then write a humorous article about my experience. Sadly a guy beat me to it (full text below if the site goes down). His article basically sums up everything I noticed with the site. I get two emails a day from the same two 'social networking experts' who follow and refollow me over and over again in hopes that I will finally just click follow on their profile so they can boost their number of followers. I have no idea how they find who they are following but aren't following them based on what is on the site but they do it.

THERE IS NO POINT TO TWITTER. IT MUST DIE.

This is what I learned.

The text of the article linked to above (it's getting digged and farked right now)

Quote

3.20.2009:
The Ultimate Guide To Twitter
2:16 AM

So, after spending a week exploring all the facets of Twitter after more than tripling my followers in 48 hours, I've become quite the expert on the darling of the social networking media marketing blitz thing whatever. I guess since MySpace died and all the kids left, it got boring reporting on predators talking to themselves (and stripperbots), so the media jumped on the Twitter bandwagon. (I could continue linking well into this sentence, but am now bored with finding links.)

And so, it seems, has everyone else. Tons of celebrities and social media experts and bloggers and SEO giants and other people who really have nothing else to do all day but think about themselves in 140 characters or less and share with everyone the enormity of those thoughts are on Twitter. And so, here's my Ultimate Guide to Twitter, for everyone who is considering hopping on the tool and formulating their Twitter strategy to fame and fortune.

First off, It's important to note that, if you actually have a Twitter Strategy, you're an idiot. This isn't an insult, it's just a statement of fact, and the more we know about ourselves as people, the more we can grow and evolve and achieve oneness. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but better you hear it from me than from someone you actually care about. The fact that you can't just enjoy a service for the silliness of it and actually decided to build a "strategy" around it exposes you for who you are. I'm honor-bound to point it out to you. You're welcome.

Now, in formulating your Twitter Strategy, you should decide if you're going to take the slow, arduous, hard-fought path of amassing tons of people who don't give a rip about you and only follow you in the hopes you'll follow them back so they can grow THEIR numbers, or if you'll take the quick and easy path and follow the top Twitterers who follow you back, insult them in various ways so they reply with your name, and watch your ranks swell.

You'll probably pick #2. It's the quick path to self-perceived glory, so I really have no doubt that that's what you'll do. I kinda did it the hard way, and I recommend the easy way. Why? Because no matter what you do, you will end up following these people anyway. It will happen. Just watch. And once you do, you'll figure out what I've figured out:

    Twitter, by and large, is a gigantic circle-jerk of marketing and SEO "Experts" and conservative Republican deleted all together retards, all tweeting and following one another in the hopes that they'll get followed back to make their numbers look great, then go off and sell their strategies to companies. Oh, and Barack Obama.


There you go. That's all you need to know about Twitter in a nutshell, if you're planning on using it in a strategy of some sort.

If you're not, basically Twitter is a service where you can let people know when you're pooping, eating, or have a clever witticism which you will inevitably butcher so that it fits into 140 characters, confusing everyone. And by everyone, I mean the friends of yours who don't mind knowing all of these things and decide to follow you, which are the same friends who already know all these things about you, which means it'll get boring eventually. Until one of you follow Trent Reznor or one of the Marketing / SEO "experts" or one of the wingnut republican dumbos and the whole cycle described above starts up.

Enjoy!


Edited by Reb Cpl - 31 March 2009 at 2:50pm

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tical3.0 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 12:02am
lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 12:04am
I use one at work to get news updates out.

I agree with you though, it is absolutely useless and idiotic. I hate it so much. Sadly, though, the general public loves it, and I have to accept it as a medium people will read news updates through.

Oh well.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mbro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 12:19am
Originally posted by agentwhale007 agentwhale007 wrote:

I use one at work to get news updates out.
What about a normal RSS feed that allows you to use more than just 140 retarded characters?
Quote I agree with you though, it is absolutely useless and idiotic. I hate it so much. Sadly, though, the general public loves it, and I have to accept it as a medium people will read news updates through.Oh well.
I don't think the general public accepts it yet. How many non journalism majors do you know that use it? I can name one and I know a decent amount of people in my city. It is a media fad.

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 6:04am
MBro, the average population is too retarded for RSS feeds
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sinisterNorth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 7:20am
I can't stand it. The fraternity I'm in uses one and it's just a pain.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Benjichang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 11:25am
I too, have never seen the utility of Twitter. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MeanMan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 12:05pm
Facebook pisses me off enough with all the friend updates. Do people TRY to spell things wrong, just to anger me? I swear, theyre like 5th graders that cant make a sentence.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote WGP guy2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 2:25pm
Originally posted by MeanMan MeanMan wrote:

people TRY to spell things wrong, just to anger me? I swear, theyre like 5th graders that cant make a sentence.


Yes.

If there is one thing I can thank this forum for, it is showing me that good grammar and spelling is still required on the internet.  In fact, I have learned most of my grammar knowledge from being on this forum.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mod98commando Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 3:06pm
Originally posted by mbro mbro wrote:

What about a normal RSS feed that allows you to use more than just 140 retarded characters?


Thank you, my thoughts exactly. When I found out what twitter was, I thought it was one of the most pointless things in the world and I think less of everyone that uses it just for personal updates. My friend made an account on twitter so he can use it for updates on his website which is forgivable but I still wouldn't do it. It's just an entire website wrapped around the concept of an RSS feed only they gimped it with a low character limit and turned it into a lame fad.

Originally posted by choopie911 choopie911 wrote:

MBro, the average population is too retarded for RSS feeds


Well then they can either broaden their knowledge a smidge or be left out. When I started college I wanted to get an old firebird and turn it into a nice car. I knew nothing about cars when I bought it, but now I'm teaching myself what I need to know in order to restore my car. If people can't learn to use something as simple as an RSS feed, they don't deserve it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gator Taco Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 3:11pm
I despise the new Facebook homepage. I've recently pretty much left myspace in exchange for Facebook. Now I don't have to be blinded by ugly multicolored flashing layouts and have my ears raped by what my friends "music".

I have no need for another social networking site.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 3:12pm
Originally posted by mod98commando mod98commando wrote:


Originally posted by mbro mbro wrote:

What about a normal RSS feed that allows you to use more than just 140 retarded characters?


Thank you, my thoughts exactly. When I found out what twitter was, I
thought it was one of the most pointless things in the world and I
think less of everyone that uses it just for personal updates. My
friend made an account on twitter so he can use it for updates on his
website which is forgivable but I still wouldn't do it. It's just an
entire website wrapped around the concept of an RSS feed only they
gimped it with a low character limit and turned it into a lame fad.
Originally posted by choopie911 choopie911 wrote:

MBro, the average population is too retarded for RSS feeds
Well then they can either broaden their knowledge a smidge or be left out. When I started college I wanted to get an old firebird and turn it into a nice car. I knew nothing about cars when I bought it, but now I'm teaching myself what I need to know in order to restore my car. If people can't learn to use something as simple as an RSS feed, they don't deserve it.



Again, you're an average person. Theres a significant chunk of the population that is a lot less intelligent, motivated, capable, etc than you are.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High Voltage Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 3:14pm
Originally posted by WGP guy2 WGP guy2 wrote:

Originally posted by MeanMan MeanMan wrote:

people TRY to spell things wrong, just to anger me? I swear, theyre like 5th graders that cant make a sentence.


Yes.

If there is one thing I can thank this forum for, it is showing me that good grammar and spelling is still required on the internet.  In fact, I have learned most of my grammar knowledge from being on this forum.

That is sad.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote agentwhale007 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 March 2009 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by mbro mbro wrote:

Originally posted by agentwhale007 agentwhale007 wrote:

I use one at work to get news updates out.
What about a normal RSS feed that allows you to use more than just 140 retarded characters?
Quote I agree with you though, it is absolutely useless and idiotic. I hate it so much. Sadly, though, the general public loves it, and I have to accept it as a medium people will read news updates through.Oh well.
I don't think the general public accepts it yet. How many non journalism majors do you know that use it? I can name one and I know a decent amount of people in my city. It is a media fad.


1) People are not as responsive to our RSS feed. We have one, it's just not used much. The way we measure it is the Web site traffic. When I send out Twitter updates on news and sports, we get a traffic spike. Nothing when we just use the local content RSS dispatch.

2) General public, maybe not. But my audience is college students at a 50k+ major university, which is the key demographic that uses Twitter. Tons and tons of people here use Twitter on a regular basis. Maybe it is just a regional thing, but it is popular here. Our sports Twitter account has a lot of subscribers.
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This Ma**edited**hine Kills **edited**as**edited**ists.




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mbro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2009 at 8:41pm

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peter Parker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2009 at 8:45pm
I have never twitted, but that won't stop me from forming an opinion. My initial take on it is that:

twitter::blogs
as
SMS::email

Seems like it might serve a purpose for folk who don't have computers and live entirely by their phones. Otherwise, kind of silly.


"E Pluribus Unum" does not mean "Every man for himself".

Pop Quiz: What do all the Framers of the Constitution have in common?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2009 at 8:46pm
Peter: your comparison is correct, but the question is: Who cares?

Why does anyone care what I'm doing? How is this interesting:

"At the foodcourt"

"decided on subway"

"is eating in the mez"

"is in class till 6"



Who cares?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peter Parker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2009 at 8:56pm
It's not.

And neither is anything on Facebook, MySpace, and 99% of blogs.

"E Pluribus Unum" does not mean "Every man for himself".

Pop Quiz: What do all the Framers of the Constitution have in common?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2009 at 9:02pm
Originally posted by Peter Parker Peter Parker wrote:

It's not.

And neither is anything on Facebook, MySpace, and 99% of blogs.


That's just because you have no friends
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Peter Parker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2009 at 9:06pm
lol - actually, I was horrified when a law school classmate of mine asked me if I was on Facebook yet. Then she told me that most of my class has now joined. I am officially a holdout.

I can actually see some theoretical benefit to Facebook, but I have yet to see any FB/MS page that was anything other online navel-gazing.

I do belong to LinkedIn, which has turned out to be quite productive and useful. Same concept, just with an actual structure and goal.

"E Pluribus Unum" does not mean "Every man for himself".

Pop Quiz: What do all the Framers of the Constitution have in common?
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