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Your weekend > Mine. (long)

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Reb Cpl View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 February 2009 at 8:07pm
So I've not been around much the last few days. I spent the last few days feeling extremely sad and uncomfortable.

We made the 5 hour drive through a blizzard last Friday to Buffalo for the memorial services for my friend's father who had the plane land on him two weeks ago. My brother in law has been up there since the event with his girlfriend (it was her father)

Friday night after the drive we go over to the house where the family has been staying. Talk about awkward. What exactly do you say to a woman and her daughters who just lost their father/husband to an airplane? 

"Hey, what's kickin?" doesn't really cut it, and "I'm sorry" is right about at the same level for such an instance. Luckily, there were several other family members/friends there so we were all awkward together.
We did get to hear the story from the women who survived the crash from their own mouths....really sort of eerie.

Saturday morning we tripped over to the local middle school for the public memorial service. My mother in law liked to mention that we were 'with the family' - so we get ushered into a waiting room with the immediate family again. My wife, her youngest brother and I picked a nice quiet spot in a corner to hang out  until we were again ushered around into the auditorium for the service. Not being 'family' exactly, I felt sort of strange. After that, they organized a trip to the crash site, which the wife and I passed on. I've seen burned out houses before, but this one had 50 people perish in it....it seemed too much like the ultimate in rubbernecking if you asked me....eww.

Sunday was the wake, which we were going to pass on, but we but dragooned into going to that and standing in a serpentine receiving line which was oddly reminiscent of the wait for an amusement park ride. Now we get to shake hands and hug various family members, of whom I am friends with one.....the others...we were forced into the uncomfortable "I'm sorry" and "How are you doing" while they desperately waited for more familiar people to come down the line.

That sucked.

Today was the funeral and internment itself- the funeral wasn't that bad, I've done those before. But the internment was done in the negative degree weather that only Buffalo can dish out. Aside from the cold, the honor guard folding the flag and presenting it to my friends mother (the deceased was a Vet) was rather emotional.

Then we drive 5 hours back.

It snowed the ENTIRE time we were there and on the road.

I'm completely drained, physically from the drive, and emotionally from the itinerary. On the upswing- work tomorrow at the job that's trying to get rid of me.

Woo hoo!

/wine of epic proportions.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GI JOES SON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 9:00pm
not to steal your thunder reb, but i feel you on that stuff. a suffolk cop was killed yesterday morning by where i live, hit by a drunk driver whose already had 2 dwi's this year, and his car hit a pole and instantly burst into flames. died before he made it anywhere out of the car, t here was unfortunately video online of it...was my friends uncle
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 9:39pm
Wow, that sounds like a bummer of a time. Nice to pay your respects, but seems like you were a bit out of place at times.

The whole trip to the site strikes me as really odd though....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GI JOES SON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 9:43pm
choop- usually they drive the hearse in front of the perons house before going to the cemetery, usually the place they grew up or lived for most of their life. in this case, its just awkward though, i agree...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote choopie911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 9:55pm
Originally posted by GI JOES SON GI JOES SON wrote:

choop- usually they drive the hearse in front of the perons house before going to the cemetery, usually the place they grew up or lived for most of their life. in this case, its just awkward though, i agree...


That's ALMOST funny....but not quite.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 9:57pm
Originally posted by choopie911 choopie911 wrote:

Wow, that sounds like a bummer of a time. Nice to pay your respects, but seems like you were a bit out of place at times.

The whole trip to the site strikes me as really odd though....


Yeah, There was a lot of instances where I felt like I didn't belong there. At all. Luckily though there were so many people that nobody noticed my discomfort. I hope.

I didn't understand the trip to the site myself, All I could think of was that I'd be looking into an open grave. All of the bodies were removed but it was still a little odd. I don't think there was anything that could have gotten me to go though.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shub Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 10:18pm
Originally posted by GI JOES SON GI JOES SON wrote:

choop- usually they drive the hearse in front of the perons house before going to the cemetery, usually the place they grew up or lived for most of their life. in this case, its just awkward though, i agree...


That is odd. I have never seen a funeral procession that went took any sort of indirect trip from the church or funeral home to the cemetery.

Sorry about your weekend, Reb. You definitely had a rough few days.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jmac3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 10:47pm
Originally posted by Shub Shub wrote:

Originally posted by GI JOES SON GI JOES SON wrote:

choop- usually they drive the hearse in front of the perons house before going to the cemetery, usually the place they grew up or lived for most of their life. in this case, its just awkward though, i agree...


That is odd. I have never seen a funeral procession that went took any sort of indirect trip from the church or funeral home to the cemetery.

Sorry about your weekend, Reb. You definitely had a rough few days.


I have. I know my grandfather's funeral procession drove by my house(I live with my grandparents).
Que pasa?


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shub Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2009 at 11:42pm
I have just never heard of this tradition. My grandfather died just last month, and the funeral procession didn't do that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GI JOES SON Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2009 at 12:03am
it also might depend on the families wishes. when they sit down with the funeral director they usually ask if they want to or not.

sorry about your grandpa shub
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ceesman762 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2009 at 10:27am
We drove by the house for my Mother, we didn't do that with my Father.  out front of the house is my Mother's garden, she always loved her gardening.  Sorry to hear that Reb.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2009 at 10:31am
I'll never forget the funeral procession that I was part of with the fire department one day. We drove through town in the trucks with the lights going and the hearse behind us. As we passed through town and headed to the cemetery, we passed one of the local farms where they happened to be butchering cows right on the side of the road!


One thing I neglected to mention, which was sort of cool- my brother in law, who was acting as a spokesman for the family, got a voice mail from Capt. Sully of the Hudson River crash. The guy was calling all the families it seems. I thought that was neat.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bruce Banner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2009 at 11:16am
Awful.  I absolutely cannot stand funerals.  I almost always end up bawling in a corner.  I suck at handling death.
 
This whole story is just awful.  My feelings go out to the families and everybody involved.
 
But, like you said, the good news is Sully guy.  I plan on continuing to hope/pretend that he is not attention-whoring but is genuinely a nice guy and just trying to help.  That man makes me feel better about everything.
 
Ugh.  Ugh.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reb Cpl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2009 at 11:36am
Originally posted by Bruce Banner Bruce Banner wrote:

Awful.  I absolutely cannot stand funerals.  I almost always end up bawling in a corner.  I suck at handling death.
 


Ditto actually. The idea of someone passing on doesn't really bother me so much, but when I see how others are suffering- I get busted up over that, damn near every time. I've been to services for people I've never even met (I went for the family members that I DID know) and I still get all bleary. When they played taps at the cemetery and presented the folded flag to my friend's mother- I definitely  had something stuck behind my contact lenses.

My wife is just the opposite. I've never seen her display any form of emotion at these things.






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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oldpbnoob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2009 at 11:53am

I wonder if funerals, veiwings etc. aren't going to be a lost practice. I absolutely dislike going to funerals and refuse to attend veiwings as I think they are quite macabre. My wife and I have made it crystal clear that we don't want such things when we die.

Sorry about the uncomfortable weekend. Unfortunately, I will probably be doing the same due to one of my wife's friends dad dying yesterday. I get to bag out of it though since someone needs to watch the kids.

Edited by oldpbnoob - 24 February 2009 at 11:55am
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