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The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

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    Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:00pm
My sister sent me a link to cracked.com of the 9 most badass bible verses. There are several choice words, so I cannot post the link here. However, I will give you the first one so you can get a taste and PM me for the link if you want to check them all out.

Exodus 2: 11 - 12


Sure, Moses was a great leader, an emancipator of his people and a prophet. Most people don't know that he also was the Biblical equivalent of Splinter Cell's Sam Fisher--a well-honed killing machine, able to slay from the shadows without pity or remorse. Martin Luther King may have had a dream, but Moses had a body count.

You can almost picture the scene: An Egyptian soldier is wailing on a hapless Hebrew when Moses, clothed in head-to- toe black, drops down from the ceiling. Moving with cat-like grace, he sneaks up behind the soldier and, taking his head in his hands, snaps the man's neck with one savage twist. As the lifeless body slumps to the ground, Moses lights up a cigar. "Well," he quips, "looks like someone bit off more than he could Jew."


Moses, seen here, is about to murder the hell out of an unsuspecting Egyptian.

Moses later defeated the Egyptian Pharaoh, who, if we remember correctly, had been using Hebrew slaves to construct a 40-foot-high armored battle suit capable of launching nuclear missiles to anywhere in the world.


They only get better from here.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carl_the_sniper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:02pm
I could be wrong but isin't that metal gear solid?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kristofer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:03pm
killed eh? and they say its thou shall not kill.


but isnt it translated from hebrew? and the words were changed slightly. direct translation is murder not kill therefore it was an incorrect translation?

i heard that recently and found it interesting.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Da Hui Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:04pm
Originally posted by carl_the_sniper carl_the_sniper wrote:

I could be wrong but isin't that metal gear solid?
Looks like it.

PM Me link, I got a good LOL at it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bolt3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:05pm
That's so the top story on digg right now.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pezzer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:09pm
Originally posted by Kristofer Kristofer wrote:

killed eh? and they say its thou shall not kill.


Moses was given the Ten Commandments after this happened...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .357 Magnum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:16pm
Interesting MGS pic.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote usafpilot07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:17pm
Originally posted by Pezzer Pezzer wrote:

Originally posted by Kristofer Kristofer wrote:

killed eh? and they say its thou shall not kill.


Moses was given the Ten Commandments after this happened...


He's still correct.  In the original Hebrew text, "murder" is a MUCH more closely related translation than kill. Often times in the OT God himself gave the Israelites the order to kill tens of thousands in fighting for their lands or their rights.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Yomillio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:21pm
Link please.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Styro Folme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:31pm
i'd like to read it.  pm me the link.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote evillepaintball Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:33pm
i lol'd...hard...several times
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Evil Elvis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:34pm
Originally posted by Kristofer Kristofer wrote:

killed eh? and they say its thou shall not kill.


but isnt it translated from hebrew? and the words were changed slightly. direct translation is murder not kill therefore it was an incorrect translation?

i heard that recently and found it interesting.


Actually the Bible originaly uses the Hebrew for 'Murder' Kill was used in the King James version of the Bible.

Wich why explains why God sends the Isrealites on Ass Whooping Black Ops all over the Bibical world.

BTW link Pls

Edited by Evil Elvis - 28 November 2007 at 5:35pm
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PM link please and thank you
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote karll Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 5:38pm
this made my day. just the pick me up i needed.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote usafpilot07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 8:24pm
Originally posted by Evil Elvis Evil Elvis wrote:

Originally posted by Kristofer Kristofer wrote:

killed eh? and they say its thou shall not kill.


but isnt it translated from hebrew? and the words were changed slightly. direct translation is murder not kill therefore it was an incorrect translation?

i heard that recently and found it interesting.


Actually the Bible originaly uses the Hebrew for 'Murder' Kill was used in the King James version of the Bible.

Wich why explains why God sends the Isrealites on Ass Whooping Black Ops all over the Bibical world.

BTW link Pls


That's exactly what he said in the second sentence of his post?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dye Playa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 8:33pm
Those are awesome lol


Edited by Dye Playa - 28 November 2007 at 8:34pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jordanpischke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 8:38pm
Please pm me the link.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jmac3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 9:01pm
They're not all funny, but I liked it anyway.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jack Carver Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 9:41pm
I loled at "Or, perhaps "donkey's jawbone" was mistranslated from the original Hebrew word for "minigun."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Predatorr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 November 2007 at 9:57pm
absolutely hilarious, kind of motivating me to read the bible.

just go to digg, it's the top story
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