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    Posted: 15 February 2006 at 8:50pm
what? im not making fun. everyones been a noob, we all know it. hence the funniest thing YOU ever did.

ill start: when i first started playing i was absolutely amazed and terrified by a PMI milsim. I was shocked that he gogged me, and i thought he actually picked a body part with his shot from 200 feet. I've learned a lot... 

Edited by Ilford Rule - 14 January 2008 at 5:45pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote You Wont See Me Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 February 2006 at 8:54pm
I've never dont anything terribly bad, but I got a good story my brother did.

We were playing out in natural woods, so natural there were cows in it. We floated down river in a conoe till we found a good spot to play. The cows would cross the streams to other islands of woods and so forth. So we started playing, and tried ignoring the occasional cow that came to see what we were up to. Well my brother took off running in the woods during one game, and slipps and falls in a fresh cow pie. He was covered from head to toe in cow poo and since he didnt have a change of clothes he was forced to keep the clothes on untill we canoed back to the truck.


Edited by You Wont See Me - 15 February 2006 at 8:55pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 February 2006 at 11:09pm
When I came back to the game after taking a long time away, I found out a lot of things had changed.  For instance, semi-auto markers had become common, full face protection was required (no more shop goggles), and they had these safety device thingys called barrel plugs. 

One day, after only being back in the game a couple of weeks, I found myself in a position where I had a chance to outflank the opposing team while the rest of my team was pinned down.  There was this wide (25 ft or more) ditch than ran between the road and the main playing area.  Usually, it was a playable area as the road was 15 feet straight up from it and it was only a few feet lower than the main area, but on this day it was partially flooded and very muddy.  There were enough people on each team (over a dozen) that the defending team was able to set up so they had a firing line all the across the field from this ditch to the river on the other side.  They had also located so that anyone who wanted to deploy on their postions had to cross an open area with sparse ground cover and just a few good size trees.  Since they had also established interlocking fields of fire so that the tree trunks could not be used for cover, the game stalemated shortly after we entered the field; we couldn't approach them without taking heavy losses, and they had no need to move out towards us.  I was on the far right of our skirmish line, taking cover behind the edge of the ditchline and trying to keep my feet out of the water when I noticed a way to move forward; while the other team had several people watching my side of the field, they didn't have anyone right on the ditch edge.  I backed off a bit, dropped to my stomach and started crawling.  I had to stay pretty low because the ditch, as I mentioned before, was only two feet or so lower than the field.  Once I got far enough along that I didn't want to go back I realized that do to the growth along the edge of the ditch I was going to have to crawl through the water and mud.  I decided to go for it and was careful to keep my marker out of the water as I crawled forward, although, I did get the occasional splash through the  bottom of my mask.  Once I was behind the other team,  I realized that they had posted a rear guard that would have to be eliminated first.  I approached him by crawling up a much smaller ditch that while not filled with water, was not as deep and still quite muddy. To make my approach even more difficult, this guy was really alert.  He was looking all around him and not fixating on anyone direction.  I had to actually put my mask in the mud to approach him, but I finally got into position.  I waited a few moments for him to look away and lifted up and fired once he did.  Paint spewed from the porting of my Flatline as my barrel plug was launched from the end of the muzzle.  He turned and looked at me with a stunned expression, probably because he didn't think anyone could have gotton so close without him seeing them.  (I was only about 25 feet away; I'd had to get close to be sure of the elimination because of the intervening small branches.)  Instead of firing again, I froze.  I was so stunned at my stupidity that I didn't even think to fire again.  He looked at me laying in the muddy ditch with my marker pointed at him for a moment more then called himself out.  I assumed that he didn't want me to shoot at close range until I walked up and found my barrel plug near where he had been hiding.  When I talked to him after the game, he told me he called out because he felt a hit in the center of his back.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RedLion56 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2006 at 7:30am
I was never a noob really, the first time i went i got told how to use the gun then i played and i played well.I have been good from the start, like a lot of people.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snake6 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2006 at 8:04am
I never was a noob. I was always the bank of paintball knowledge as you see me here today.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sporx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2006 at 4:06pm
never a noob? that's like saying that you were never
a child.

My first time playing, a lot of guys were saying "Hey
princess, you ready to get out faster than blah blah
blah" I would get so mad. Little did they know that
"this little princess" is hell of a sprinter so I would
dash and get them out. I knew nothing about
paintball, but I was aggressive.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snake6 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2006 at 4:22pm
Originally posted by sporx sporx wrote:

never a noob? that's like saying that you were never
a child.

I was never one of those either.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gabster08 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2006 at 5:32pm
still am i noob, soo i am still makin memories.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lester98c Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 February 2006 at 11:43pm
sorry i just have to bring this back have some things to share,

this friday at indoor field a group of kids are having a birthday there, so we take turns on the field and in between game the one kid asks me what if i shoot you if the face, i tell him he cant since i can catch paintballs with my hand and he belived me. 

i let one kid shoot my ion at the crono the wieght of my 88/45(beast of a tank) send the gun straight up in the air while he pulls the trigger. he ended up blasting the crono and wall beam next to it. 

they all also called paintballs bullets.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xTippyx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2006 at 2:35pm

lol this was a funny moment i had

so me and some of my friends go to a local field, and we are waiting around for the refs to come split up teams so i'm standing there whenmy friend hayden comes over. i had rented a gun that day i thought i had the safety on but  i didn't so i ended up shooting him in the foot and hand on accident, he started crying like a little . it was funny.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Styro Folme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2006 at 3:55pm
i never really did anything noone else has done.  There was this one time when me and some buddies went (2nd time i had gone) and we decided to play speedball with some tourney players.  right off the break, we where screwed.  we all went behind 1 stand up.  6 kids behind one stand up....  imagine that..   i said "someone has gotta move" and i pushed my friend tom right in the middle of a lane and he got lit up. that's really the only funny story i remember that i was involved in, but i remember some pretty memorable newbies...  like once i saw a cocky tourney player accedently pop one off in his barrel condom in the staging area.  then he kept doing it so people wouldn't think he was stupid.  another time, this one kid with a brand new A-5 with a flatline and crap was told to make like a tree.  he took it a little to literal.  he actually acted like a tree....  i can't see how people can hate newbs.... i mean, they're so comical, you have to love them
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mr. Heckler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2006 at 4:13pm

There's a kid like that at our field. He's got an A-5, Flatty, R/T, wears brown coveralls and sucks. We just call him A-5 kid. Anyway, this one time we were playing and these two middle eastern guys were renting. I was crouched behind a bush and one of them jumps around the corner less than 10 feet away and fires like 10 rounds. He missed all of them and I'm like "The hell?". So I turn and put 2 balls square into his chest. Then, get this, he start yelling and screaming at me about the 10 foot rule. My entire team just laughed at him for the rest of the time he was there.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RavenGuard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2006 at 5:40pm
Originally posted by Mr. Heckler Mr. Heckler wrote:

There's a kid like that at our field. He's got an A-5, Flatty, R/T, wears brown coveralls and sucks. We just call him A-5 kid. Anyway, this one time we were playing and these two middle eastern guys were renting. I was crouched behind a bush and one of them jumps around the corner less than 10 feet away and fires like 10 rounds. He missed all of them and I'm like "The hell?". So I turn and put 2 balls square into his chest. Then, get this, he start yelling and screaming at me about the 10 foot rule. My entire team just laughed at him for the rest of the time he was there.



i didn't like being shot in the thigh from like 4 feet away 3 times :(  i played like a month ago+ and i still have a scar... even chronoed at 230... well, he was supposed to be.  They don't really check at sgt splatters.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jerseypaint Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 February 2006 at 7:52pm
there is this 10 year old kid whos been playing for a long time and it was funny cuz my friend is a built 15 year old and he was running to the next bunker and didnt notice the little kid behind it. so when my friend went to shot over the bunker the kid stood up and shot him but because of the cold it bounced (no1 knew of the bounce yet). My friend called a paint check and once the ref cleared him the kid was standing there litting him up....no joke that little kid is crazy and i luv 2 watch him beat out adults.....i have this memory and more but this really made me laugh...other than the time my friend shot my friend in the neck leaving a bumb and the kid who got shot retaliated by shooting him in the nuts (about 15 feet away)....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mr. Heckler Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 February 2006 at 4:22pm
Originally posted by RavenGuard RavenGuard wrote:

Originally posted by Mr. Heckler Mr. Heckler wrote:

There's a kid like that at our field. He's got an A-5, Flatty, R/T, wears brown coveralls and sucks. We just call him A-5 kid. Anyway, this one time we were playing and these two middle eastern guys were renting. I was crouched behind a bush and one of them jumps around the corner less than 10 feet away and fires like 10 rounds. He missed all of them and I'm like "The hell?". So I turn and put 2 balls square into his chest. Then, get this, he start yelling and screaming at me about the 10 foot rule. My entire team just laughed at him for the rest of the time he was there.



i didn't like being shot in the thigh from like 4 feet away 3 times :(  i played like a month ago+ and i still have a scar... even chronoed at 230... well, he was supposed to be.  They don't really check at sgt splatters.

You play at Sgt. Splatter? Isn't that in Toronto? I'm in Hamilton.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dodan44 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 February 2006 at 8:20pm
Originally posted by Snake6 Snake6 wrote:


Originally posted by sporx sporx wrote:

never a noob? that's like saying that you were never
a child.

I was never one of those either.
wow snake me either.
i pawn noobs
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 98_custom22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2006 at 1:32am

haha funny newb story about me being the dumbass that i am

i was running away from my friend who was pretty much lighting me up and i wasnt watching where i was going and ran straight on into a tree..not really a newb story just a pathetic story lol...

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RavenGuard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2006 at 7:37am
Originally posted by Mr. Heckler Mr. Heckler wrote:

Originally posted by RavenGuard RavenGuard wrote:

Originally posted by Mr. Heckler Mr. Heckler wrote:

There's a kid like that at our field. He's got an A-5, Flatty, R/T, wears brown coveralls and sucks. We just call him A-5 kid. Anyway, this one time we were playing and these two middle eastern guys were renting. I was crouched behind a bush and one of them jumps around the corner less than 10 feet away and fires like 10 rounds. He missed all of them and I'm like "The hell?". So I turn and put 2 balls square into his chest. Then, get this, he start yelling and screaming at me about the 10 foot rule. My entire team just laughed at him for the rest of the time he was there.



i didn't like being shot in the thigh from like 4 feet away 3 times :(  i played like a month ago+ and i still have a scar... even chronoed at 230... well, he was supposed to be.  They don't really check at sgt splatters.

You play at Sgt. Splatter? Isn't that in Toronto? I'm in Hamilton.



Yep, all the fields i play at are basically in toronto.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RavenGuard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2006 at 7:39am
Originally posted by 98_custom22 98_custom22 wrote:

haha funny newb story about me being the dumbass that i am

i was running away from my friend who was pretty much lighting me up and i wasnt watching where i was going and ran straight on into a tree..not really a newb story just a pathetic story lol...



I have a paintball video of a guy doing that...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote officerfarva_13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2006 at 10:40am

A couple years ago i was playing speed ball with a few friends. and one of my friends just got into paintball. well he had some plastic gun that broke right before we were going to play and a guy comes up to him with a karnivore and says " you can use this one for now!" i was pissed at the time i only had a tippmann 98 c (which is a good gun but doesnt have the speed). so my friend and i got on the same team, then we ran to a bunker me in front and i slid down to it. my friend tried to do the same thing and pulled the trigger on my back from point blank hitting me twice. I WAS P/O. but when he shot me in the back i jumped up and then got shot in the mask a couple more times. He said that the trigger was too sensitive. i still have the marks to this day

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