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Funniest Noob Stories thread

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lilkiller View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lilkiller Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2006 at 9:42pm
I still am kind of a noob, but ive learned when to move from bunker to bunker b/c u cant just stand in 1 spot.........i had problems with that
"Whaffles are pancakes with syrup traps"

- Mitch Hedberg

may he rest in peace
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You Wont See Me View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote You Wont See Me Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 February 2006 at 9:51pm
We all did when we were new.
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Zebulon View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zebulon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2006 at 9:45am
One of my buddies is in Crew(a christian campus ministry) and they decided that they were going to go paontballing and they were asked to invite people to come out. I have played paintball for some time, and it was a real ego boost playing with these guys. Anyway after we got done one of the refs talked them into playing a civil war skrimish and after it was over we were all standing around and some of them were screwing around dry firing there guns at one another and watching the frost from the co2 and some guy didn't realize he had one ball left and shot one of his buddies, no joke two feet axay barrel to balls right in the nuts. It was hilarious. The best part was that he wouldn't cuss and couldn't retaliate so he just kind of laid on the ground and made up words. It was really funny.
?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote red_panda Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 February 2006 at 10:03am
Hmm i don't have a story for me but, one day we were all playing out at my friend's family ranch and they were hiding behind the bank and just on the other side of the bank was their pond. We couldn't get a clear shot at them so we decided to sneak around the bank and do something stupid. We got in their 15' flatbottom boat and ducked down and just sat their and floated along the bank untill we were about 20' away from the short they were just sitting there looking confused since we had stopped shooting for five minutes. When they were directly infront of us the plan was to pop up from the boat and shoot both of them but my friend tried to stand up way to fast and slipped backward out of the boat with his gun and everything else right into the pond. It's about the funniest thing i've seen paintballing. So yeah there's my friends newb story.
-Red Panda-
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote merryberrymoose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 August 2007 at 4:16pm
I am still a noob yet somehow I have a few really good stories.

One of the most memorable was playing with my boy friend (one on one,
shot until someone empties their hopper - person hit most looses). It
was my first time firing at someone and being fired at. We were in natural
woods, I was sitting on the ground waiting for him to fire so I could listen
for where he was. He fired off a few shots and I looked in the direction
they came from and saw him get off the ground and start to run. I fired a
few shots and heard him scream a variety of words. When we were done
playing I found out I hit him in the hopper/back of the gun, the arm, the
back of the leg, and the butt (I really got a kick out of that).

The thing I found even more amusing was he didn't hit me once (at least
not in that particular go). He did hit my mask the next round. And he
accidently hit me point-blank in the arm (barel to skin) and rib during a
break. It didn't hurt that badly though.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Silent Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 August 2007 at 6:46pm
Oh boy... I remember one time I went to a speedball field to play some paintball. So shortly after me and my friends show up, this group of like 20 drunken guys come in. They all rent a gun and 100 paintballs each. They go in to play and the ref splits up the teams. They start and everybody is just crazy. Nevermind the bunkers. And the ref said : "To get out, you have to get hit in the jewels." So as you can imagine, people where going right up to eachother and sticking barrels in their crotch. Then afterwards, everybody circled around one guy and lit him up. He probably got shot 1000 times. Afterwards, we found out the guy who got lit up was getting married the next morning.

Another story, somebody was shooting at me so I turned around to go find cover and all of a sudden I slip and I really badly sprain my finger. This was in the woods.

I also got shot in the tip of the carrot.

Oh and also one time, the last game of the night, we played and if somebody was out they would just go back to the starting area; we would do this until we where out of paint. So we start and all of a sudden I get shot in the mask. I go: Thats just great! So I continue and I can hardly see as it is so I advance and just shoot at anything that moves. It was blurry looking through the paint. And then I get hit in the mask like 3 more times. And then I just get hit every where else. I had a huge headache from getting shot in the head maybe 10 times. I was so lucky I didnt get shot in the jewels that time...

I've also shot out of my marker with the plug on...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pnlpaintballer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2007 at 5:57pm

Ive only been playin paintball for a bout two years now so my first year when i was eleven me and my friend went and we both sucked (him more than me) but we had a guy on our team who was hiding in the same bunker as us so he sed he was going to run out and for us to cover him so he runs out around the back and crosses my friends line of fire ,gets hit and screams "what the  you stupid kids which one of you shot me" so ofcourse we both point at eachother

~The best type of paintball is a broken type of paintball~


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mr.Jake Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2007 at 6:03pm
that happens to the noobs at my field all the time, they either shoot their own team or run right into your line of fire and get shot. Nobody gets mad, we find it more humorous.

Edited by Mr.Jake - 20 August 2007 at 6:03pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pezzer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2007 at 6:38pm
While stories about less experienced players are pretty amusing, try to remember that its much better to help out the person than make fun of them.  Making fun of somebody for being ignorant just isn't cool.

I've been playing for 5 years, one of the most experienced at my field.  Every time I go out to play I always help out the people that ask.  When I get hit I just put my gun down at the entrance but stay in the game to watch the "noobs", then give them tips after the game.  Most are very accepting.
Suck, sqeeze, bang, blow, and GO!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Yomillio Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2007 at 7:22pm

Originally posted by Pezzer Pezzer wrote:

I've been playing for 5 years, one of the most experienced at my field.

Quite the young crowd, eh?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pezzer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 August 2007 at 7:36pm
Originally posted by Yomillio Yomillio wrote:

Originally posted by Pezzer Pezzer wrote:

I've been playing for 5 years, one of the most experienced at my field.

Quite the young crowd, eh?



Well the refs are all members of the team.  Usually it is a lot of new guys though.  When I'm out there I would say 1/5th of the people there have been playing more than 2 years.
Suck, sqeeze, bang, blow, and GO!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hybrid-sniper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 August 2007 at 9:40pm
ONE TIME THERE WAS THIS GUY WHO MADE A THREAD IN NEW PLAYERS THAT WAS ALL WUT IS THE FUNNEHIEST THANG A N0OB HAS DON AND I WAS LIKE LOLOL NOOB
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ticalxx421 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 August 2007 at 11:23pm
Originally posted by hybrid-sniper hybrid-sniper wrote:

ONE TIME THERE WAS THIS GUY WHO MADE A THREAD IN NEW PLAYERS THAT WAS ALL WUT IS THE FUNNEHIEST THANG A N0OB HAS DON AND I WAS LIKE LOLOL NOOB


Do I even need to say anything about this?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hybrid-sniper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2007 at 12:14am

Originally posted by Ticalxx421 Ticalxx421 wrote:

Originally posted by hybrid-sniper hybrid-sniper wrote:

ONE TIME THERE WAS THIS GUY WHO MADE A THREAD IN NEW PLAYERS THAT WAS ALL WUT IS THE FUNNEHIEST THANG A N0OB HAS DON AND I WAS LIKE LOLOL NOOB


Do I even need to say anything about this?

LOL YEAH DOOD GO A HED

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote reifidom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2007 at 9:31am
I remember when I was newer at the game and I had decided to play more aggressively that day. I advanced pretty far up the field and had a great position, but I felt I needed back-up. When I look back I see a teammate just standing there in the open staring at me. I wave for him to advance with me and he just continues to stare. Then he raises his gun and shoots me.
He wasn't on my team, and teams there wear colored helmets, yellow or blue. I'd forgotten which one I was. We'd been flanked so badly that I was the only one left and only because I'd gone so far ahead.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Enphase Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2007 at 2:52pm
On my first day out, I took off my face mask (for a minute) in the middle of a paintfight to catch my breath.
Here I come...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gardy90 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2007 at 6:01pm
my friend did somthing simeler, we were playing with some ppl at his farm, well one of our friends diddent have a mask so he let her use it, he wore a motercycle helmet, well it fogged up and he fliped up the visor just in time to catch one of my balls to the forhead

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote [Nu]S.W.A.T. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 August 2007 at 9:00pm
Originally posted by Snake6 Snake6 wrote:


Originally posted by sporx sporx wrote:

never a noob? that's like saying that you were never
a child.

I was never one of those either.

exactly...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jerseypaint Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 August 2007 at 9:07pm
Originally posted by Enphase Enphase wrote:

On my first day out, I took off my face mask (for a minute) in the middle of a paintfight to catch my breath.

Kid did that at my field. Broke his nose.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RoboCop Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 August 2007 at 10:31pm
Not a noob story but a girlfriend to one of the guys I played with was out of paint and didn't feel like getting more and just felt like having some fun. So she is in spandex with a 98 custom. This is a night scenario game and so she decides she will just keep running into enemy territory just shooting air and with it being so dark they might retreat or something or surrender. The enemy side got mad at her for overshooting them. The refs told her to stop overshooting and she told them she was just shooting air. They were kinda puzzled.

SandMan:"oh yeah, sporx is totally hot"
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