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Mephistopheles 
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DELETED!!! Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2286 |
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 Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:26pm |
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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Dune
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<placeholder> Joined: 05 February 2004 Status: Offline Points: 4347 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:27pm |
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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Sportsman
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Strike 2 - Spamming, flaming, rudeness Joined: 15 January 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 49 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:27pm |
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I guess this guy is really popular among paintball players.
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Listen, I'll try not to be annoying. What was wrong with that coat? |
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Cedric
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Unit Joined: 24 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 4241 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:27pm |
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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piranhakiller
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Joined: 30 December 2003 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1224 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:28pm |
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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~Marker setup~
2K1 Autococker Rt Feed 12in Freak ANS 3-Way Black Houge Grip Shocktech Drop Forward TippmannA5 16in J&Jceramic r/t 2X trigger Blue Dye c4 |
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Gatyr
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Strike 1 - Begging for strikes Joined: 06 July 2003 Location: Austin, Tx Status: Offline Points: 10298 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:30pm |
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If you can see chuck norris, chuck norris can see you.
If you cant see chuck norris, you are 2 seconds away from death. |
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Cedric
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Unit Joined: 24 November 2004 Status: Offline Points: 4241 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:31pm |
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Tae Kwon Do
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Best Forumer of the Year 2006 Joined: 30 July 2003 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 6120 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:31pm |
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Mephistopheles
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DELETED!!! Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2286 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:32pm |
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It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
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MP Sniper
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Strike 1 Language. 1/22/06 Joined: 06 September 2005 Status: Offline Points: 450 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:32pm |
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In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
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MP Sniper
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:33pm |
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When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
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MP Sniper
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:34pm |
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Mephistopheles
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DELETED!!! Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2286 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:34pm |
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In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
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Mephistopheles
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DELETED!!! Joined: 10 June 2002 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2286 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:35pm |
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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piranhakiller
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Joined: 30 December 2003 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 1224 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:35pm |
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A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until the man exploded.
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~Marker setup~
2K1 Autococker Rt Feed 12in Freak ANS 3-Way Black Houge Grip Shocktech Drop Forward TippmannA5 16in J&Jceramic r/t 2X trigger Blue Dye c4 |
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L337Republican
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Joined: 12 January 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 38 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:35pm |
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Chuck Norris was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital. Edited by L337Republican - 15 January 2006 at 11:37pm |
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Dune
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<placeholder> Joined: 05 February 2004 Status: Offline Points: 4347 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:39pm |
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Chuck Norris does not sleep...he waits. Chuck Norris has one word for the people he puts into comas. That word is "lucky." |
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Sportsman
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Strike 2 - Spamming, flaming, rudeness Joined: 15 January 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 49 |
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:41pm |
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Chuck Norris is the NWO.
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Listen, I'll try not to be annoying. What was wrong with that coat? |
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MP Sniper
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Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:42pm |
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Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.” |
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Gatyr
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Strike 1 - Begging for strikes Joined: 06 July 2003 Location: Austin, Tx Status: Offline Points: 10298 |
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Posted: 16 January 2006 at 12:00pm |
Win. Chuck Norris won sexiest man of the year 14 times....in 2 years. |
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