Tippmann Pneumatics Inc. Homepage
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Register Register  Login Login

Opening paragraph help

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
Author
cdacda13 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Yes, spelled secual.

Joined: 12 September 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 7951
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cdacda13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Opening paragraph help
    Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:32pm
Well, according to my teacher, my thesis statement in my opening paragraph is too weak. I know so of you guys are english experts, so I need your help. The topic is the legalization of medicanial marijuana.
Please help me figure out how to make it stronger, Im at the end of my wits.

  thanks for the help




Edited by cdacda13
Back to Top
ItsJustMe2 View Drop Down
Member
Member
Avatar
Strike 3 - Offensive content

Joined: 22 January 2003
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 150
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ItsJustMe2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:33pm
Step 1) Throw away the paper.

Step 2) Carry on.
I want to look cool like IJM and type centered.
Back to Top
Hitman View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Why yes, I am JUST THAT cool, thx...

Joined: 14 January 2004
Location: Halifax, NS
Status: Offline
Points: 5123
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hitman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:36pm
Do you plan on taking each of those issues you brought up into further detail later in the paper? If so, the best thing to do is always start with your best point. Then place the weeker ones in the middle and one of the stronger points at the end.
[IMG]http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/4874/stellatn8.jpg">

Back to Top
cdacda13 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Yes, spelled secual.

Joined: 12 September 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 7951
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cdacda13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:38pm
Originally posted by ItsJustMe2 ItsJustMe2 wrote:

Step 1) Throw away the paper.

Step 2) Carry on.

Step 3) fail class
Step 4) Be grounded be demanding parents

Originally posted by Hitman Hitman wrote:

Do you plan on taking each of those issues you brought up into further detail later in the paper? If so, the best thing to do is always start with your best point. Then place the weeker ones in the middle and one of the stronger points at the end.

Yes, some of the body is already done. Its very good, lots of info, according to my teaccher, but he doesn't like teh opening.
Help?




Edited by cdacda13
Back to Top
SuperXero View Drop Down
Gold Member
Gold Member
Avatar
Strike 1 - Gay Slur, 5/8

Joined: 27 October 2002
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1777
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SuperXero Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:49pm
Wait wait... the fed's don't allow legal prescription of marijuana? I thoguht they did...
Tenacious and Versatile
Back to Top
Hitman View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Why yes, I am JUST THAT cool, thx...

Joined: 14 January 2004
Location: Halifax, NS
Status: Offline
Points: 5123
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hitman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:51pm
Originally posted by SuperXero SuperXero wrote:

Wait wait... the fed's don't allow legal prescription of marijuana? I thoguht they did...


The beauty of being Canadian.
[IMG]http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/4874/stellatn8.jpg">

Back to Top
cdacda13 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Yes, spelled secual.

Joined: 12 September 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 7951
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cdacda13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:51pm
Originally posted by SuperXero SuperXero wrote:

Wait wait... the fed's don't allow legal prescription of marijuana? I thoguht they did...

Only in certain states, and even then, If you get caught, you can still be punished. (I beleive zesty knows about this)


Edited by cdacda13
Back to Top
Pariel View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Guested - language.

Joined: 06 October 2003
Location: New Caledonia
Status: Offline
Points: 5140
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pariel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 8:51pm
I believe it is only legal in California. Not sure about that either. I haven't really done any research on the topic personally, just something I think I heard in passing.

Just don't put your thesis in the 2nd paragraph. High school LA teachers get annoyed by that-mine downgraded my paper to an A- when I did. It was sad.

Just kidding about the sad bit...but seriously, don't.
Back to Top
dankman View Drop Down
Member
Member
Avatar

Joined: 20 April 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 84
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dankman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:04pm
Perhaps you could start the paper out by briefly discussing the health care crisis we are now facing with the skyrocketing of prescription drug prices and negative effects commonly associated with them. It is sad these days how many new drugs are being put out on the market without thorough testing being done by the FDA. Maybe this could help you transition better into your arguement? 

CHECK OUT MY ANIME REVIEWS AT Auphan Online

My markers
Back to Top
cdacda13 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Yes, spelled secual.

Joined: 12 September 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 7951
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cdacda13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:05pm
Thanks dankman.

Wheres frozen balls, hes good at this stuff.
Back to Top
Darur View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Stare directly into my avatar...

Joined: 03 May 2003
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 9174
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Darur Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:13pm
Start out with a hypothtical situation

Example :  "A man is terminally ill, the pain he suffers grows worse and worse each day but he has one hope: Medical Marijuana"

Make it your own though, that one I gave you sucked.
Real Men play Tuba

PH33R TEH 1337 Dwarf!
DONT CLICK ME!!1
Back to Top
SuperXero View Drop Down
Gold Member
Gold Member
Avatar
Strike 1 - Gay Slur, 5/8

Joined: 27 October 2002
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 1777
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SuperXero Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:28pm
Originally posted by dankman dankman wrote:

Perhaps you could start the paper out by briefly discussing the health
care crisis we are now facing with the skyrocketing of prescription drug prices and negative effects commonly associated with them. It is
sad these days how many new drugs are being put out on the market
without thorough testing being done by the FDA. Maybe this could help
you transition better into your arguement? 





Originally posted by Hitman Hitman wrote:



The beauty of being Canadian.
Tenacious and Versatile
Back to Top
Frozen Balls View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Strike 1, filter dodge, 1.28.10

Joined: 14 June 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5865
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Frozen Balls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:30pm
Originally posted by cdacda13 cdacda13 wrote:

Thanks dankman.

Wheres frozen balls, hes good at this stuff.


I'll get back to you.
Back to Top
oreomann33 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Can you say ... ZAZZy?

Joined: 11 March 2004
Location: Turkey
Status: Offline
Points: 8102
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oreomann33 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:32pm
Maybe you should use some lyrics from a bob marley song.
Back to Top
ItsJustMe2 View Drop Down
Member
Member
Avatar
Strike 3 - Offensive content

Joined: 22 January 2003
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 150
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ItsJustMe2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:37pm
Tell them you can go from this:



To this!
I want to look cool like IJM and type centered.
Back to Top
Frozen Balls View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Strike 1, filter dodge, 1.28.10

Joined: 14 June 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5865
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Frozen Balls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:40pm
Edited for special reasons.

Not my best work, but it's something to start with.


Edited by Frozen Balls
Back to Top
cdacda13 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Yes, spelled secual.

Joined: 12 September 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 7951
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cdacda13 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:45pm
Frozen Balls, I love you
Back to Top
Pariel View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Guested - language.

Joined: 06 October 2003
Location: New Caledonia
Status: Offline
Points: 5140
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pariel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:51pm
Dude, I'm kinda sorry I posted the crappy answer I did-totally without realizing it was someone I actually liked on the forum. That said, I really am to lazy to write a good intro for you(although I guess I could...I might tommorow, if this thread is still around).

Frozen Balls didn't do too bad. Just remove the word peace for something else-that word always end up getting you(meaning the writer) in trouble.
Back to Top
MetallicaESPa5 View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
The Doors Of Perception

Joined: 31 March 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 6331
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MetallicaESPa5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:53pm
What an interesting thread.

Back to Top
Frozen Balls View Drop Down
Platinum Member
Platinum Member
Avatar
Strike 1, filter dodge, 1.28.10

Joined: 14 June 2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5865
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Frozen Balls Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 May 2005 at 9:54pm
Originally posted by Pariel Pariel wrote:

Dude, I'm kinda sorry I posted the crappy answer I did-totally without realizing it was someone I actually liked on the forum. That said, I really am to lazy to write a good intro for you(although I guess I could...I might tommorow, if this thread is still around).

Frozen Balls didn't do too bad. Just remove the word peace for something else-that word always end up getting you(meaning the writer) in trouble.


Replace it with tranquility or something.
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  12>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 10.03

This page was generated in 0.188 seconds.