If you were elected President of USA

Reb Cpl wrote:       One random forumer will be executed.

lol

I'd allow a select few of you to speedball through the corridors of the white house.

Then paint and rename said white house, calling it the "Jay's Palace"

Then, it's down to business.

   ~The major gun freaks like belt would be locked away. For a long time.

   ~The criminal policy in this country would be thus: For a felony, you're beaten by the victims of your crime until you're confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your life. For a misdemeanor, you're beaten by the victims of your crime until you need a colonostopy bag.

~As soon as a child hits puberty, they are given a basic intelligence/common sense test. If they fail, they are sterilized to prevent them from breeding more stupid people like the smart parts executives.

Sam Adams will become the National Drink.

Every town and public institution will have a designated government employee who carries a wiffle ball bat. If someone does something stupid, they are punished by this official who shall administer blows with the bat. Citizens are encouraged to rat out their stupid friends, as it's always funny to watch someone else get beaten.

International policy goes as such:

           We pull out of Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. and tell them "One more screw up, one more crime against humanity, and we come back...and when we leave, I'm pretty sure you won't be happy."

          Canada and England are to be treated with the utmost respect (except the french canadians) Just because they're awesome. We will also send money to Ireland....because it's awesome.

          Background checks for gun posession will be alot more grueling than it is now, and the wait period will be just as long. If you have nothing to hide, why gripe about a background check? huh? Anything more serious than a traffic ticket, you'd better start playing with Nerf guns, because that's all you're gonna get.

       Also, before owning a firearm, even if the background check clears, you take an intelligence exam. Fail it and it's a no go on the guns. You'll be given a lollipip and a kick in the genitals for being stupid.

  Let's see......

    Paintball will be introduced in schools as mandatory. It is after all, a terriffic team building activity. If you don't work as a team, you get hurt. I like how that works.

     Teachers will recieve more money for having to put up with some of the little cretins that parents have spawned. They will also be allowed to carry wiffle ball bats for the same aforementioned reason.

     High school students will be given more, harder work, which they will do well on, or stay in high school forever. The influx of morons into college will end.

     I will appoint an official scapegoat, so when things go wrong, I will have someone to blame, so my administration will not suffer. I'm thinking Dave Ellis will fit this position perfectly.

     I will also have a presidential smartass. He will be directly responsible for verbally chastizing stupid people. Enos has first pick of this job.

     I guess I'll need legitimate laws somewhere....Rambino is responsible for that. I don't know if I'll listen to him, but he'll have a job at least.

      One random forumer will be executed.

 So my ideas are slightly juvenile in nature, but what the heck...even us old folks have to have SOME fun now and then.

Dune wrote: Yes Clark, I have a bit of communism in me. I think we should be made to learn a second language, how do you think foreign countries such as Japan and Germany do so well with international tourism and commerce, not to mention education. It's because they must learn English as a second language. I think we should have the same type of law, but with Spanish.

Not sure if the communism and the language comments are related, or if the language comment was directed at me...?

In any event, while Germans are often skilled in language, I think you seriously overestimate the language skills of the Japanese.  You also, in my experience, seriously overestimate the business value of non-English language skills.

Yes Clark, I have a bit of communism in me.

I think we should be made to learn a second language, how do you think foreign countries such as Japan and Germany do so well with international tourism and commerce, not to mention education. It's because they must learn English as a second language. I think we should have the same type of law, but with Spanish.

Tae Kwon Doe and Dune for President 2020